Too Loose?

A short flight from Orly airport got me to Toulouse, a city in Southern France with about half a million people. Toulouse is world famous for its Aerospace industry and also for being the current hometown of The International Swing Dancing Sensation: 'Alana'.

After the first of several great meals, I met Alana's French boy Vincent and several of his friends who all happened to be employees of Meteo France. After the terrible weather in Paris, befriending a group of Meteorologists turned out to be a fantastic idea. After several hours 'consulting maps' they drove us from rainy Toulouse to the sunny Mediterranean Coast for a weekend of rock climbing, hiking and camping.

On the way back home we pulled over right in front of a public toilet and I almost made the amateur mistake of going inside to use the urinal. The real Frenchmen walked straight past the 'toilet' and instead used a tree with a great view of the highway. Other acceptable places to take a slash include, any grassed area, roadsigns and the side of buildings.

After a rest day in Toulouse, we borrowed Vince's car and headed to the Pyrenees for a couple of days of snow-hiking. Although it was still too early in the year to reach some of the higher summits, the weather was amazing so there were plenty of sensational views at lower altitudes.

I rounded out my time in Toulouse with a night at the Circus. No Fit State are a non-profit troupe based in Wales and comprised of performers from all over the world. Although the acrobats are incredibly talented, the main draw card is the uniquely interactive atmosphere. Throughout the show the crowd is ushered around and even under the acrobats as they perform which makes it feel like everyone has front row seats. Highly recommended!

I'll finish with a few tips and tricks that helped me survive in France.

Don't be fooled by Zebra Crossing and Pedestrian Traffic Lights. It is a common misconception that they are designed to help Pedestrians cross the road safely. In France the opposite is true - they are actually designed to indicate areas of high pedestrian density. This allows motorists to be more efficient in their attempts to run people over. When in France, stay safe and Jay-walk.

If you want to look convincingly French (and have an empty bladder) try walking around with a baguette under your arm. If you don't have a baguette, you can substitute a large roll of pink toilet paper (as all French toilet paper is pink). The first time I tried this technique, it only took a couple of minutes before I was identified as a knowledgeable local and asked for directions. This allowed me to complete the perfect French impersonation by completely ignoring them.

Stereotypes aside, I really enjoyed my time in France. The food was outstanding - I probably ate about 3kg of cheese - and although the language barrier was more apparent than in some other Northern European countries, I was able to chat with enough English speaking locals to least get some feel for the culture. Thanks again to Alana and Vincent for putting up with me for a whole week!