Friday, June 8, 2007

I hate airports.

My flight to Vancouver was scheduled to leave at 1040 so being both organised and responsible (and slightly hungover) I got up early to shower, organise my junk and say a few goodbyes. By 0820 I rolled out of my hostel, carrying a huge 20kg pack on my back, a smaller 10kg pack on my front and a sleeping bag/mat in each hand.

I got a lot of strange looks as I bashed my way through the rush hour crowds, who must’ve thought I was an extremely well provisioned homeless person. The nearest BART underground station wasn’t far so I bought a ticket and headed down to wait for my train.

At that point the emergency venting fans kicked in and an evacuation siren blared. We were all ushered out of the station, and it was announced over the intercom that smoke had been discovered in a nearby station. I’ve still got no idea what caused the smoke but based on the fact that the “National Security Threat Level” (which is announced over the airport loudspeakers every 15 minutes) is still orange, I doubt it was anything serious.

I emerged from the subway next to a young British guy (carrying a much less impressive backpack) who was also headed to the airport, so we split a cab. He recounted some of his travels in the taxi, which seemed to mostly involve drinking until he couldn’t remember anything and then seeing where he woke up.

I told the taxi driver I was flying Air Canada, and he promptly dropped me off at the wrong terminal. So at 0935, I commenced the jog from terminal 1 to terminal 3 with backpacks and camping equipment in tow. I made it to the automated check in desk just in time, only to find that my flight had been delayed by an hour. This actually turned out to be a blessing because when i presented my boarding pass at the security check, I was taken to a separate “high security” checking point.

Apparently the highlighted SSSS on my boarding pass is randomly assigned to a small portion of passengers and stands for “Super Special Security Search.” First they made me stand in a sealed glass machine that buffeted me with air for 20 seconds. I think this was a test for illegal substances. Next my bags went though the standard x-ray scanner before being completely unpacked and searched by the security staff. Any item which could conceivably be a bomb was individually swabbed with a cotton pad and tested for explosive residue. Possible bombs included my 20 gram ipod shuffle and my sandals.

After about 45 minutes of testing i was certified 100% bomb free. Fortunately they failed to uncover my secret plot to take over the world using only a pair of mandals. I wandered over to my gate just as boarding was scheduled to commence only to find out that it had been delayed by another hour.

So unlucky.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

A super special security search for a super special guy!

Chris V said...

The air buffeting thing is common in the States. PS I wouldnt have thought your ipod shuffle was large enough to be a bomb, but then I suppose we are at Threat Level Orange.

Anonymous said...

If you don't like such justified security measures go back to Russia.

Ffaery said...

I feel your pain.

Good luck taking over the woirld with the mandals.

I think you may have a to fight Stubo for Supreme Ruler Status though, his new mandals are pretty impressive.

etooler said...

In a way, a full blown security search was kind of good for you. It would have been boring sitting around waiting for the plane all that time.