Stockholm

Near the beginning of our trip Chris introduced me to a point system he had adopted for rating foreign cities and countries. For example, as Chris disembarked from his train in Warsaw he almost tripped over a battered and bleeding man lying on the platform (-50 Poland). However all was forgiven later in the day when he discovered that a pint of beer in a pub cost less than a dollar (+100 Poland). We used this system extensively throughout Scandinavia. Stockholm consists of 14 beautiful islands, linked together by a network of bridges. Although public transport is pricey, the inner city has an excellent computerised bike hire system (+50 Stockholm). For less than A$5 per day you can pick up a bike anywhere in the city and drop it off anywhere else, as many times as you like, 24 hours a day. Having a bike is important as it offered a means of escape from the packs of tall, blond Swedish women that roam the streets, in search of unsuspecting foreigners (+500 Stockholm). We spent our first night in Stockholm with Maria and Anders, a Swedish couple I'd met in Quebec. They invited us to their apartment for a delicious dinner and we spent the evening chatting about Swedish politics, Haighs chocolate and travelling to the middle east. Their friendliness and generosity was typical of all the Swedes I met. I headed out the next day to find a camera store that could remove an annoying spot of dust removed from my camera (-10 DSLRs). A shop assistant went to the trouble of downloading and printing me a map for me (+20 Stockholm). Unfortunately, the directions on the map were completely wrong and had me walking in circles for about 20 minutes (-50) but when I did eventually arrive, they fixed my camera for free (+100). I had a great experience in a supermarket, while questing for Chocolate milk. The refrigerated section was filled with many weirdly shaped and bizarrely named products so I deciding to seek help. I asked a fellow shopper, "Excuse me, what is the Swedish word for chocolate milk" and he immediately stopped what he was doing and came over to join my quest. After a couple of minutes of fruitless searching I resigned myself to another evening drinking beer, thanked him for his help and headed to buy some. About 5 minutes later I was waiting in the checkout line with a slab of Fosters on each shoulder when the same helpful shopper jogged up to meet me with a carton of chocolate milk that was hidden in a different part of the store (+200). Another night Chris and I checked out some of the pubs on Sodermalm island. Later in the evening Chris decided it was time to gamble and headed back to the Casino to try his luck at the 25/50 NL Hold Them. Poker games certainly sound more impressive when they're quoted in SEK. I was chatting to some friendly local students and decided to stay at the pub. Eventually the Swedes and I headed to another pub and once the pubs started closing they invited me back to a fairly crazy but fun house party. Scandinavians certainly know how to drink. Apparently so does Chris, and I later found out he was denied entry to the Casino for 'being too drunk' (+1000, it's great to see some casinos still have standards). So on the patented CV/Wes point scale Stockholm scores extremely well. Friendly people, great restaurants, picturesque scenery and varied nightlife make it just about my favourite city in Europe.

The End of a Road Trip

After crossing the border back into Sweden the rest of our drive to Stockholm was disappointingly free of rock concerts, car crashes and bar lock-ins. Driving in Sweden was a relaxing change mostly because their roads are at least twice as wide as those in Norway. It's as if huge sections of Norwegian highway were transplanted across the border. The average 1 lane road had huge but unmarked shoulders wide enough to fit at least 3 more cars. Another peculiarity of the Scandinavian road system is the precision of their road signs, all of which are accurate to 0.1 of a kilometer. Reindeer crossing, next 0.4km - 3.6km stated one sign. Any reindeer caught crossing outside of this zone are no doubt captured and shipped directly to the north pole, where they're given stupid names and forced to drag around a fat man in a sleigh.

After 13 days and about 2700km on the road, we rolled in Stockholm and dropped our little Aygo back at the Hertz dealership. Although it wasn't the strongest performer uphill and took several minutes to get from 0 to 60, this did result in impressive fuel economy, despite the fact that Chris rarely took it above second gear. Driving a car which gets almost 20 kilometers to the litre is quite handy when each litre costs A$2.50.

Trondheim - My Life Behind Bar

Discounting the insane drivers and ridiculous prices, Trondheim was a fairly normal, prettier than average, university town. We stayed in a huge and modern university student center, full of bars, concert stages and restaurants. Despite being perhaps 5 stories high, the building didn't have floors in a traditional sense. Instead the rooms existed on more than 50 different "semi-levels" all linked together by a maze of corridors and stairs. During summer some of the larger rooms are converted into hostel style accommodation. Although our 40 person dorm was neither clean nor quiet and only had 1 working shower, the location was ideal. School term didn't start for a couple of weeks but many students had already begun their pre-orientation week orientation, (the technical term for "drinking at the student centre") so there were plenty of locals to befriend. On my most memorable night I headed out with Kristian, a Norwegian of distinguished musical taste, for a tour of the city's best pubs. A few pints later, the pubs started to close so we enjoyed a final beer at the world's worst 80's retro club and parted ways. I made it back to the student center at about 3am and rang the doorbell a few hundred times in an effort to rouse the "24 hour reception". After about 15 minutes i resorted to loud banging and yelling before finally deciding to find an alternative entrance. Just around the corner was a small open window about 6 feet above ground and, reasoning that the local law enforcement officers must have their hands full reversing after traffic offenders, I hoisted myself up and slid through sideways, flopping onto a couch about 9 feet below. The room I'd fallen into was one of the many private bars located throughout the center and although everyone had left, the evidence of a pretty solid party remained. Wandering out the door and into the maze of corridors I was dismayed to find that the only door which wasn't deadlocked led to a toilet. Dismay turned to a strange sense of contentment as it occurred to me that there are plenty of worse places to be trapped than inside a bar. After sampling a few of the more exotic spirits, snacking on some leftovers and checking my email on the bar's computer, I found a comfortable couch and fell asleep. When I awoke at about 10am and negotiated my release with people working in the offices next door, I got the distinct impression that spending the night inside a Norwegian bar isn't particularly uncommon.

The Road To Trondheim

After an early start and a 3 hour ferry ride, we continued South along the coastal road. After a week in Norway, even sheer cliffs rising several hundred meters straight out of the ocean become a little mundane. Passing past and then under a huge glacier in another 8km tunnel kept me interested. As we approached our destination - a tiny middle-of-nowhere campsite at 11pm - it became apparent that something wasn't quite right. Completely by accident, we'd stumbled upon the main event of a week long Northern Norwegian rock festival which was being held IN our campsite. Tickets were available, but only at Norwegian prices so we wandered up to watch from just outside the gates. Within 5 minutes a local invited us into a caravan for some beers. Details from the rest of the night are sketchy but I'm pretty sure Beer, Jaegermeister and Moonshine were all heavily involved. Chris had wisely chosen to leave the party early, so when I stumbled back to the car at 8am he was ready to take up the driving duties. Although he assures me we were only close to crashing a couple of times, I spent the whole trip passed out with a jumper wrapped around my head, so I'm unable to corroborate his story. I was feeling well enough by 4pm to take a driving shift and we swapped back about an hour out of Trondheim. Although Chris was an enthusiastic and competent high speed driver (literally pumping his fist the first time we entered a 110 zone), he did start to exude an aura of tension whenever complicated maneuvers were required (such as slowing down) or when other cars made any sudden movements (for example turning). It didn't help that the drivers in Trondheim were completely insane. On no less than 3 occasions we saw drivers reverse rapidly along a main street into heavy traffic. One of them was driving a public bus. Surrounded by maniacs and without any idea of our location, Chris reverted back to his primal instinct - driving fast. He sped through a pedestrian crossing almost running over a cyclist, plowed through a roundabout and took a sharp left turn directly into the setting sun. Being blinded by the sun didn't diminish his need for speed, although it did prevent him from noticing the red traffic light until the last second. He brought the car to a halt a couple of meters over the line and I had just enough time to turn to him and comment on his excellent driving before one of the crazy Norwegians locked up his brakes and slammed into the back of us at about 30km/h. It was only Aunli's 3rd accident of the year, which is probably quite good by Norwegian standards. Nevertheless, if any Trondheim crash repairers are reading, from their private jet or Monaco summer house, I'm prepared to pass on his address and phone number for a small percentage of future repairs. Although his car was quite a mess, only the back panels of our car were damaged and it was fortunately still drivable. The only physical injury I sustained was minor whiplash which sorted itself out in a few days. "I feel a bit lightheaded" commented Chris. "Maybe you should drive?"